You are my Angel, My Savior, My Rock
by GabrieltheTrickster
Summary: Kendall is the leader and the protector. But a haunting past mixed with current hardships has him turning to Katie and to his brothers. In the end, who saves who? *Drabble collection* *T for abuse and suicide* *Majority True* *For Ami and others*
1. My Angel, My Savior, My Rock

**A/N: **Ok. This is just a randonm little drabble about Kendall and Katie. For anyone who has read some of my other stories, you will know that I've been a victim of some really scary abuse. But one thing I never mentioned is my little sister, Ami. She was the one solid rock I had during all of that, mostly because I took all the abuse directed at her. But this is my little tribute to her. Written from Kendall's POV. Love ya, sis.

**Warning: **Umm…idk….its just a lot of sweet fluffiness

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR, Kendall or Katie.

There are some bonds in the world that can't be broken.

I would never let any harm come to her.

She is my angel, my savior, my rock.

Without her, I have no idea what could've happened to me all those nights.

She was the one who held me in the hospital when I couldn't stop crying.

She is the one who convinced me to live when I wanted so desperately to die.

I told her things that I could never tell my family for fear of more beatings.

During the beatings, I was the one who protected her from the harsh hands and foul words.

I was the one who took it tough and never showed weakness.

But after is when things changed.

I'd lie on my bed, often bloody and sore.

She'd quietly come in, her body small and fragile against my looming physique.

We'd sit in silence until the tears finally came.

I'd cry into her shoulder, my tears soaking through her shirt.

She'd hold me and comfort me, whispering soft words in my ear as I calmed down.

She nursed my injuries, taking care to keep quiet so we wouldn't be found.

When I slit my wrists, she stopped me and helped me heal.

When I threatened to kill myself and tried, it was her soft voice that pulled me back.

This was our routine, never seen or heard of by anyone but us.

Then we grew older.

The beatings had stopped, but now it was sneaking out at night.

One of us was always getting caught doing something wrong.

And the other was always there to cover, even though it was mostly for me.

We lie for each other out of love.

We make up alibis to keep the other safe when we were caught out of bed.

We became famous and fame went to my head, she kept me grounded to my roots and kept me sane.

But she is a teenager and she whines and complains all the time about how hard her life can be.

She never shuts up and it really bugs me sometimes, but I know it's just what she has to do.

Yeah, she can be annoying and get on my nerves; but when it comes down to it, we are family; brother and sister, connected by blood and nothing is ever going to rip us apart.

A/N: And that is that. Sorry if its bad, I wrote it in my computer apps class in 47 minutes and its about to end so i gots to go. Bye


	2. Everything Will Be Alright

**A/N: **Ok, so this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I think its just going to be a collection of my drabbles I write about Katie and Kendall and making it a mirror of my life. I want to thank an anonymous reviewer named Kayla who made me really feel like I'm doing something to help. She told me that this was one of the most powerful things she's ever read. For future reference, if you EVER need a person to talk to, a shoulder to cry on or just a friend, I'm always here. Literally, FF is becomnig my life. Anyway, enjoy. This is from Katie's POV as my little sister. this is written as my little sister saw me. Through the whole thing, I am Kendall and Katie is Ami.

**Warning: **mild abuse, nothing graphic, fluffiness

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING **but my past

I can hear the sirens blaring outside on the street.

I shudder, remembering the feeling of that cold metal bench and the beep of the machine.

It's like I'm there again, in that ambulance with my fingers intertwined with Kendall's.

I remember the paramedics stabbing needles and attaching monitors to pale, almost deathly flesh.

I can feel the metal against my skin, a tingle as if I was being stabbed with a million needles.

I look into Kendall's emerald green eyes and squeeze his hand tightly.

"It's going to be ok, big brother" I whisper in his ear as the paramedics begin to pull the stretcher out of the ambulance.

Without waiting, I leap from the unforgiving cage and follow the EMTs at a breakneck pace, never letting go of my brother.

The gauze they had wrapped around his wrists had bled through, and the sight made me nauseous.

But I had to hold on for him.

No sooner was he in a room than nurses and doctors swarmed us, asking questions and doing tests.

I answered everything as calmly as possible, despite the tears flowing down my face.

As soon as we were in a room, we were out again, rushing towards a door labeled "Psychiatric Ward".

I gulped as we were rushed into a small white room, where more people asked questions about our home and our personal lives.

One doctor who looked like an older Logan asked if were ever abused.

Kendall, who hadn't been quiet since round one of questioning fell silent.

The doctor looked at both of us, noted the fear in our eyes and our tears and just nodded before walking out.

When we were finally alone in that white room, Kendall shattered.

He cried and cried and I had no idea what to do.

Eventually, I crawled into bed with my brother and snuggled my small body into his warm chest.

We sat like that for hours, his cries softening into sobs, then to whimpers and eventually just sniffling.

Another doctor came in, telling me I had to leave.

Kendall and I glared at her.

"I'm not leaving my brother. I'm the only one he has."

The nurse tried to force me out, but Kendall held me tight.

I didn't care that he was getting blood all over me.

I didn't care that I'd have to spend the night in the stark white room.

I just wanted my big brother, and no one was tearing me away.

Security showed up, trying again to pull me from Kendall.

And again I fought.

Kendall was crying again, this time for me to never leave him.

Seeing Kendall in so much pain over me gave me a surge of confidence.

"Look, he has nobody left to be with him. I'm the only thing he has left for family. Leave me alone."

I must have had one scary face on, because security left and the doctor just glared at me.

I shut the door, and crawled next to Kendall again.

"I'm never leaving you, Ken. I'm always going to be here for you."

I wrapped my tiny arms around his waist and stroked his back, trying to calm him down.

I don't know how long we were in that position, facing each other, arms wrapped around each other.

But I do remember us being quietly lifted out of the hospital and driven somewhere, still with Kendall.

I don't know how or why, but someone had taken us home that night.

And judging by some questionable stains in the car we rode in the next morning, I think Logan did.

"KATIE! LET'S GO YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

My mom's voice rang through the apartment.

I cringed slightly at the screaming, remembering the voice that use to scream at us in rage and violence.

I sighed. "I'm coming, mom!"

I grabbed my backpack and looked at myself one last time in the mirror.

I saw the tiniest red dot on my shoulder, and I knew it was his.

I smiled to myself and wiped a few tears from my bloodshot eyes before slamming my door and rushing out.

**A/N: **Ok, so there is a drabble kinda answering why Kendall mentioned Katie being with him all night in the hospital from Chap. 1. Anyways, Reviews are the cheese to my macaroni, and I love hearing from you guys. And again, if it sucks its because I wrote it in computer class. Can you tell im a bad student?


	3. Tiny Angel

**A/N **OMG sorry its taken me so long to update this! The freaking blizzard took out my power and my internet so this is being written in the dark. And I'm uploading this at freaking Dunkin Donuts in case my internet decides to like die again. And this is a fic in honor of KENDALL SCHMIDT'S 21st BIRTHDAY!

**Warning: **Mentions of abuse, language

**Disclaimer: **If I owned BTR, we'd have a serious problem

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><p>"Happy Birthday, Kendall" I whisper to myself.<p>

My jerk of a dad is at work, not so much as a kind smile.

My evil bitch of a mother is drunk and hung over, only leading to more abuse from her.

The only one left is my baby sister.

She is the only person besides my friends who have even said happy birthday to me today.

She even bought me a few new guitar picks and a new guitar strap.

Why was Katie the only one who could love me?

She is the only person left in this group of people called a family.

I love my sister with every string of muscle in my body.

She made this terrifying birthday a million times better, just by being there for me.

My mother came out, stumbling before she hit me multiple times, calling me a deadbeat loser.

I felt the stings, but I just stood there, trying to be strong for Katie.

Then she went for my baby sister.

I saw her move towards Katie, and my protective instincts took over.

I could feel the adrenaline coursing in my veins as I went after our mother.

Despite the blood I could taste in my mouth and the pain radiating in my body, I shoved the bitch into the opposite wall with all my remaining strength.

I could hear something crack as a fist connected with the side of my face, and I immediately felt my jaw scream in pain.

I ignored the pain and restrained the psychopath in my arms as I screamed for Katie to run.

She looked at me, tears in her light brown eyes she got from our Satanic mother.

But her eyes were kind and soft, not angry and deathly.

I nodded to her silent gaze, answering some unspoken question as she took off for the door.

As she disappeared, I let my hold loosen on the still struggling woman in my arms.

She snarled at me like a feral wolf and attacked me again.

I remember hearing sirens and seeing Katie's face before I blacked out.

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><p>All I could see was white.<p>

I opened my eyes and looked right into the eyes of my little sister and my three best friends.

I tried to talk, but my jaw seared in pain and I winced.

"Don't talk. Your mom dislocated your jaw. You also have multiple lacerations on your face and torso, a mild concussion and some minor internal bleeding," Logan said calmly.

I looked at him and made a weird gurgling sound which Katie translated to "In English?"

I watched Logan turn bright red before he restated "You have a lot of cuts, you're going to have a really bad headache for a few days, you have bruises on your skin and some on your internal organs. But you'll be ok."

I smiled and shooed all the boys out of the room.

When Katie turned to me after we were alone, I cried.

I cried like I had never cried before in my life.

She crawled onto the bed with me, being careful to not hurt me.

She buried her face into my shoulder and the two of us cried.

I don't know when we fell asleep.

Or when we were taken out of the hospital.

Or how we ended up in the Diamond household on the guest bed.

All I knew was that Katie and I had never even been separated because we were in the exact positions we were originally in.

I looked at the tiny angel next to me.

She had her head on my shoulder, her hands were wrapped around my chest and her legs were bent and pressed against my lower back.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my little sister clinging to me for her life.

I kissed her forehead lightly before falling into another deep sleep.

And when I woke up, I was still being held by my tiny angel.

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><p><strong>AN: **This is slightly exaggerated…I was never in the hospital on my birthday, it was for dramatic purpose only. But the part where my sister never left my side is true.


	4. Wounds Heal, Scars are Forever

**A/N: **Ok, so I just wanted to say that this is quickly becoming my most reviewed story yet! Thanks to everyone who has read this, and reviewed it and told their mothers and brothers and sisters and cousins and everybody! So, here is another one from Katie's POV. Reminder: Me=Kendall, Katie=Ami.

**Warning:** Abuse….that's just kinda given, angsty fluffy goodness

**Disclaimer: **I swear, I'm never saying this again so listen up: **I DON NOT OWN, NOR WILL I EVER OWN BIG TIME RUSH.** *glares at screen* Never. Writing. This. Again.

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><p>It's so hard seeing him like this.<p>

Seeing his body so broken is terrifying.

I guess I've gotten so use to seeing him be so strong that when he shatters it takes me by surprise.

Seeing his blood on the floor as he fights for me kills me.

Seeing the pain in his eyes every time he gets hit makes me want to hold him the way he would hold me when I had nightmares.

Just seeing him, lying there, still and bruised makes me wish we could run away..

I want Kendall to take me away from here, away from that psychopath who hates us.

I want him to hold me against his strong chest and tell me everything will be alright.

I wish we left when we had the chance to.

He always stood up for me, no matter what.

He would stand in front of me, body tense and ready to spring.

I knew that I would be safe with him nearby.

But now that's over.

She finally snapped and now we all face the scars of what happened.

That night was the worst of it.

She went at him with a knife and sliced his back open.

I tried to warn him.

I tried to make him run away, but nothing could stop him.

He fell on the ground, blood gushing from the large, jagged cut on his right shoulder.

I called 911 and they were there in minutes.

That bitch was taken away as I rode to the ER with my brother.

He never cried the entire time.

Not during the ride.

Not in the room.

Not when they put large surgical staples in his shoulder.

I never left his side that night.

I was up, holding his hand through it all, and not once did anyone try to make me leave.

The first sound Kendall made in hours was a choked out sob.

I looked in his emerald green eyes and saw the tears forming as I lightly petted his soft blonde hair.

And for the first time, he cried.

I sat there, silently comforting him as he rode out the painful cries.

I wish now I had done something, anything, for him that night.

But I sat there, silently thanking my stars that he survived.

We went home the next morning with our dad

The bitch was still in jail.

Things were quiet.

Until she came back.

Kendall and I avoided her as much as we could while his shoulder healed.

But she always found us and screamed.

She never got physical, in case one of us called the police again.

But there was always yelling.

And then Kendall's staples came out and he was pronounced healed.

And it was as if someone flipped a switch because in a matter of days, Kendall was black and blue again.

And we called the police again, and she was put away for thirty days.

We never speak of it anymore.

She went to extensive therapy and was put on meds.

She got better, and now she lives with the five of us kids in LA.

It's funny how even when the wounds have healed, the scars can still haunt you.

And they always will.

Every time Kendall takes his shirt off, there it is.

A long, jagged, pale line down his right shoulder blade.

People always ask, and he always lies, afraid of what the truth will bring.

But we all know.

We know and we stay silent.

Because wounds will heal, scars will not.

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><p><strong>AN: **There you have it. Love you all so much! Review this please!


	5. Words Can Always Hurt Me

**A/N: **This is probably the fastest I'm ever going to update anything. Seriously, I'm on a writing kick, and I'm not planning on stopping soon. So, here is Chapter 5. And even though it's a bro/sis fic, this chapter is dedicated to GohanRules. Because without him, I wouldn't be writing this. It's kinda based off "Concrete Angel" by Martina McBride.

**Warning: **Abuse, language, so much angsty fluff it's pouring out my screen.

**Disclaimer:** *crickets chirp* NOT GONNA SAY IT.

Worthless.

Selfish.

Pathetic.

The words ran around my mind like NASCAR drivers.

It was always my fault, even when I had nothing to do with it.

And now I've finally snapped.

I can't take this shit anymore.

People always tell me I'm strong, and that nothing can ever stop me.

But if they could only see beyond the mask.

The pain I'm always hiding.

And it's finally caught up to me.

I can't even feel the blade anymore.

There's just a tingling sensation in my wrists as I slice them apart.

I smile weakly as the blood splatters on my floor, leaving scarlet stains.

I feel the world slowing as more blood escapes.

Then, she's there.

My concrete angel, the one person I can rely on.

I can hear her screaming and crying as I drift farther away from this horrible place.

Then I feel something searing my flesh and I remember that I can't leave my baby sister.

And I force myself back.

I lie in the arms of my angel, struggling to stay with her.

She nurses me as I fight for my life, mentally and physically.

When she's done, she holds me against her tiny frame.

She whispers in my ear, telling me everything will be alright.

She tells me that her words mean nothing.

She says to just ignore it all and live my life.

I look into her beautiful brown puppy eyes and, for what feels like the first time in my life, I smile.

The smile is weak, but I know she understands.

She knows that she is my concrete angel, the one thing tangible in my life.

Dreams and hopes are nice, but when you open your eyes, they vanish into the night.

Material possessions mean nothing.

Katie is the one reason I keep fighting.

I fight for her, to keep her safe.

Because she may be my angel, but I'm her protector, her guardian.

I have to keep her safe, no matter what.

And no matter how much I want to die, I know have to keep going.

They always tell us that words can never hurt us.

And because of Katie, I'm living proof that's not true.

While sticks and stones break my bones, words will always hurt me.

Because I can never escape them.

And even when I'm away, those some words run through my brain.

Worthless.

Selfish.

Pathetic.

**A/N: ***hands you some tissues* I'm sorry if I keep making you people cry! I don't want you to cry over me, please! Anyway, this chapter is specifically dedicated to GohanRules. Thanks, friend.


	6. This is only Their Beginning

**A/N: **Ok, so this chapter is a little different. I have two little cousins, both girls, who are 3 and 1. They are (sadly) dealing with abuse in their family as well. And I babysit them a lot, so I am their protector. So, instead of this being like a Kendall/Katie type fic, imagine it more of a Kendall/Carlos and Logan fic. I am Kendall (as usual) and my cousin Kaylena is Logan and Salena is Carlos. And "Logan" will be three, "Carlos" is 1 and Kendall is about 8. Enjoy.

**Warning:** Abuse and language

**Disclaimer: **Not. Saying. It.

It kills me to hear them screaming.

And everytime I hear the soft sobs of their fearful bodies, I begin to crumble.

But I stop myself and remind myself that they come first.

They will always come first, no matter what.

I can hear every word of the argument as it quickly escalates.

The small kids cling to me as if I was the only thing left that was solid.

I hear the fighting growing closer and I hand them sneakers and sweatshirts, just to be safe.

The fight is right in front of us now, and it's no longer verbal.

Punches are being thrown around, and one strikes me in the face, a sickening crak sounds in the room.

I feel blood drip from my mouth and I can hear the terrified screams from behind me.

I regain composure in to see a punch land in the stomach of the older of the two.

The scream sounds in my ears and I react instantly.

I pull the screaming, trembling, crying youths into my arms, locking my joints and muscles.

I hold them to my sides as I take off down the street.

I never stop running.

I run faster than ever and I don't stop until my sore legs give out, dropping us to the ground.

I'm still bleeding, but I ignore it.

They are still clutching to me, sobbing into my hoodie.

The sound alone rips my heart to pieces.

We sit on the ground and I hold them in my lap.

My legs scream in protest at the extra weight, but I brush it aside.

Their sobs break away, leading us into a silence that terrifies us all.

The sun begins to fall lower in the sky and I know we have to go back.

But I refuse to go back this early.

Noticing their looks of terror, I begin thinking of ways to pass the time.

I tell them silly stories and sing them soft lullabies.

It's not long before they are sleeping on the ground beside me, huddled together.

I pull my hoodie off and wrap it around them, cocooning them together.

I look at the quickly darkening sky and realize we need to go.

But first I asses my own damages.

My lip is split and my nose feels fractured, but it's not a huge problem.

MY muscles in my shoulders and legs are knotted and sore from the exertion, but a few self massages loosen them up.

My jeans are slightly ripped from hitting the ground, and my ankles are swollen slightly.

I know they're probably sprained, but that will heal alone.

No doctors required for me.

I look at the two snuggled together and smile.

For them, this is only the beginning.

There are still years of this to come unless something is done.

But in this moment, they are at peace with their world.

In this moment, they are happy.

I reach down and pick up the sleeping kids and begin walking back towards their house.

I look down at them and smile, because even though this is the beginning of their lives, it's the end of their suffering.

Because I'm going to be their protector, their leader, their friend.

**A/N: ***hands tissues out* Im sorry the ending sucks, this is being written in school, and Im limited for time. I hope you loved it.


	7. Hell or High Water

**A/N: **And again with these darn drabbles. But this is probably going to be the last one for a while unless I post tomorrow. I leave for TX early Wednesday morning for a five day convention, and I probably won't be able to update. But never fear! I will give you a drabble when I return. So, enjoy this little slice of angsty, tear-filled Kentie. (Yes, I just made that up) Kendall POV.

**Warning: **The usual.

**Disclaimer: ** *raises eyebrows and sits in silence like Kendall in Big Time Reality Show*

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><p>She never ceases to impress me.<p>

Life has thrown just about everything at the two of us, and she still stands her ground.

I may be the fighter and the protector out of the two of us, but she is the brain of the operation, the one who always stays calm and keeps me from losing it.

The two of us always have each others' backs, hell or high water.

We have been through everything a human being could survive, and the only reason we did was because of each other.

Every punch, every cut, every argument, every trip to the ER.

It was all worth it knowing that she would be safer.

Being around her is what has kept me sane for so long.

Her presence kept me from killing the Satanic monster that so wrongly hurt us.

And through every injury, every long night and every painful memory easier by being there for me.

And she never accepted any offers to repay her for sitting with me in the hospital, or for nursing my injuries.

And whenever I feel like I have nothing left to live for and that I will never be hapy, she is there with a hug or a comforting word to bring me back.

And that's often, more often than it should be.

How is it I can only be strong in a fight?

How can she tend to me so calmly, so stolidly without having a mental breakdown?

If there was ever a person that deserved an award for helping people, it's my sister.

She has always been there for me, and I want to be there for her.

Hell or highwater.

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><p><strong>AN: **Sorry for the really bad ending and sorry its really short. But its really late and I wanna sleep and do some more homework. So, to make up for it, I'm going to post another chapter tomorrow, maybe 2 if I really wanna slack on my homework. And people wonder how I get As and Bs in school. Anyway, I love reviews, they are the spoon to my Nutella jar.


	8. Tomorrow

**A/N: **Last update for a whole week! I'm gonna miss you guys. Enjoy this one . Katie POV

**Warning: *stares***

**Disclaimer: *blinks***

We never know what tomorrow brings.

Tomorrow could bring happiness.

Tomorrow could be the day our lives end.

And I never know when tomorrow will take my brother.

I wish I could do more for him.

I wish he didn't always have to save me.

If I could have one wish for tomorrow, it would be to save him.

Most people would think that's stupid and wish for something like ending world hunger or peace.

And while those things matter to me, my brother comes first in my life.

Kendall is the one thing I can count on to be there when I wake up.

But I'm afraid that one day, tomorrow will bring no Kendall and loneliness.

I always look towards tomorrow as a new day, a new chance, an opportunity to escape.

And then the sun sets again on my dreams, making me crave tomorrow again.

Because even after a fight, or a trip to the hospital with Kendall, tomorrow is inevitable.

And, because of Kendall, my life is going to be filled with tomorrows.

And I hope his is, too.

**A/N: **Sorry this one was sooooo short! It's cuz its late and I have to be up at 2:30 to be at the airport at 4 for a 6 AM flight…..yeah, not looking forward to that. But I promise when I return, there will be plenty of drabbles to be typed and shared with you, my faithful readers. And, I want to say a super thanks to every person who has reviewed, because this is OFFICIALLY my most reviewed story! *throws confetti* I hope you enjoyed this and are as excited as me about my updates!


	9. Because That's What Friends Are For

**A/N: **First fic of my lovely trip. I'm sorry if it's bad. It's 6:30 AM and I'm on the plane flying over someplace in New York. I'm tired so again, l if this is bad, I apologize so much. Please enjoy the Jendall moment. Kendall POV.

**Warning: ^_^**

**Disclaimer: **and I am in no way affiliated with the Houston SPCA.

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><p>Even 1000 miles away and 35,000 feet up I can't stop worrying about her.<p>

I've only just left and I'm afraid.

Afraid of what will happen to her in that house.

And it's all because of a benefit in Texas Gustavo booked us.

I have to leave my home and my sister for a week to do a fundraiser for the Houston SPCA.

I know how important it is to help the abused animals at the shelter.

I've been through what they have and I know how much they just want to be loved.

But I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this.

How am I supposed to sleep in a hotel every night knowing she's in that house?

How can I sign posters for three hours, do interviews with 6 people, take pictures, and then still perform a three hour concert when I know that I can't protect her?

Just knowing I'm 1000 miles away makes me nervous.

And all the public relations crap I'm forced to do isn't going to help.

I know that having all the cameras around means that at least one is going to pick up my fear, and I know that won't end well.

Times like these I wish I hadn't even agreed to this, but then I remember that this band helped save me.

Having all the guys move in made my mother take action, saving me a bit from the terror.

But it definitely wasn't gone.

Now she just waited for everyone else to be gone before attacking.

I sigh and look out of the plane window as the landscape turns into sprawling red desert below us.

Around me, my best friends are goofing off with Kelly and the band, and even Gustavo is smiling from his seat.

I sigh again and turn back to the window as I blast my music through my iPod louder than before.

The song I was listening to wasn't even over before James was sitting next to me, concern reflecting in his soft hazel eyes.

In that moment, I knew he wasn't going to let this go.

I knew that it was inevitable and that whether I wanted to or not.

I sighed and led him into a private conference room on the plane.

When I was sure we were alone, I told him everything.

And I was immediately overcome with emotions.

Seeing James standing in that room crying was the saddest thing I've ever seen.

Yet, part of me was relieved because it was finally over and I had someone to talk to.

We stood in that empty silence for a while before I felt his warm hand rest on my shoulder as he squeezed it lightly.

And that simple gesture was enough to make me smile.

We stood like that for a few moments before I felt the plane dipping below us and I smiled wider.

James smiled back and I knew I could get through the next week.

Because I know that friends will always be there for me.

And that friends will always have my back, no matter what.

Because that's what friends are for.

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><p><strong>AN: **And there you go. Sorry it sucked, but that's what happens when I' writing at 6:30 AM on a plane. And, sadly, that's the only drabble I had time to write this past week. So, until next time, adieu.


	10. Daddy, Don't Leave Me

**A/N: **So, this is a sad chapter. My dad just got diagnosed with a bad case of pneumonia, and I haven't had good experiences with that disease. My grandmother got it and died, my mom got it and I ended up in the hospital after trying to kill myself and now my dad has it. So, this is gonna be very sad. *Hands tissues* You might want those.

**Warning: -smirk-**

**Disclaimer: :P**

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><p>Here it comes again.<p>

That stupid sickness that has destroyed my life before has reared its nasty head again.

It's like it wants to do nothing but destroy me.

First, my nana got it and died in the hospital.

That was when my depression hit.

Next, it overcame my satanic mother.

Yeah, she hated me, but seeing her so fragile made me sad and angry.

So I slit my wrists into pieces and ended up in the psych ward again.

And now it's claiming one of two people that love me.

It's taking over my father.

And it's tearing me apart.

Hearing the words from the doctors that he may or may not get fully better freak me out.

It's because of his diabetes.

His diabetes weakens his immune system, so he needs tins of meds to get better.

But the doctors still say he might not.

And the last time I heard those words, the person died in a hospital bed.

And all I can see is her peaceful face as she smiled with her dying breath.

And then the image changes to my father's face, contorted with pain as disease pulls him from my life.

The thought makes my stomach churn.

I can't lose him.

Not when I have to protect Katie from her.

Not when I'm stressed out beyond belief.

I can't be alone in this world, not yet.

I'm only 16, I'm in a band and I have a little sister to protect.

I can't lose my daddy.

I need someone to go to when I'm alone.

Because there is only so much Katie can do for me.

I hear a loud coughing and I shudder.

I close my eyes, and pray to every God there is that he will get better.

I pray harder than I've ever prayed before just for my daddy to stay with me.

"Daddy, don't leave me." I whisper into the darkness.

I close my eyes and picture James' smile in my mind.

Every time James smiles, I'm instantly comforted.

Something about him just makes me happier to be alive.

As I picture James, I hear Katie walk in.

She asks me if I'm ok.

I frown and pull her into my chest and we cry together.

We hold each other for a long time, neither one of us saying anything.

When we separate, I wipe the tears off of her face with my thumb before taking her hands in mine.

I tell her everything is going to be ok.

I tell her daddy's going to be fine.

But all I can think is that it's not ok and that I don't know if he'll be fine.

And all I can say to myself is "Daddy don't leave me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ***gives you a trillion tissues* IM SORRY FOR ALL THE SADNESS! Jeebus you guys are going to kill me one day, I swear. Anyways, I hope you liked it.


	11. Daddy, I love you, But She Comes First

**A/N: **Remember how I said my dad had pneumonia? Well, he does, as well as a heart condition. His heart is pumping about 1/3 of what is should be and he may need surgery and he may die. So, here is a little thingy I wrote from Kendall's POV about how I feel.

Today I must remain strong.

I can't breakdown and make myself weak.

No matter what happens I have to hide the tears.

Even as they fill my eyes and threaten to overflow.

Because he needs me.

For years he was my one driving force, the one who kept me sane.

When I thought nobody would save me, he was always there.

He always knew the things to say to make the pain disappear.

I wish that for once I could take away his pain away.

For one moment, I want to hold him and make him feel better.

"It's his heart" they told us.

Those few, small words kept slamming into me like a hundred semi trucks.

His heart is beginning to fail him.

And all I see is his cold, dead body lying motionless in a coffin.

And all I can do is curl up and cry.

I cry until my body runs out of tears.

I'm thankful nobody is around to see me.

I place my hand over my chest and feel the steady beating below it.

I wish I could just give him my heart.

Then he could have a new chance at life.

I could be the one to save my father.

Even if it means leaving him, I know he can protect her.

But I know she doesn't want his protection.

She wants mine.

All the times he turned away from the dark truth drove her away from him.

Sometimes, she even calls me daddy because I'm more of a father to her than he is.

Because when things got bad, I never left her.

I know that she would never forgive me for abandoning her.

Daddy, I love you.

And you know I'll do anything for you.

But this something I just can't.

My baby sister needs me more than you do.

But just remember this one thing.

Daddy, I love you.

Daddy I do.

And no matter what happens, that will always stay true.

**A/N: ***hands a trillion tissues* Yeah, sorry for the depressingness of that. I'm just not having a good week. First my dad, now I find out my aunt is paralyzed and comatose in Brasil…..anyways, I'm sorry again. And the part about me giving my dad my heart is true. I can and I would, but my sister needs me.


	12. Everything's Going To Be Fine

**A/N: **I am the girl who never catches a break, I swear. My mother being her, my father dying, my aunt dying, my grandmother is slowly disappearing from my life and on top of it all school is killing me. Anyways, just a filler chappy from Katie's POV

* * *

><p>I can see what a toll this is taking on him.<p>

As if dealing with our mom wasn't enough for my brother.

Our grandmother died recently and now we find out that our aunt is slipping away faster than we thought.

And Gustavo is riding him and the others about their new album, and Ms. Collins is piling on homework faster than termites building a home.

And it's starting to break him down.

His usually bright eyes are now dull and lifeless.

His hair is longer than he'd ever let it be and there are large purple circles under his eyes.

Everybody else sees it too.

He's not eating, he's losing weight and he never smiles.

His grades are slipping, and he hasn't gone to the gym in what feels like forever.

He's become a walking zombie, and it scares me.

I watch him deteriorate daily, slowly vanishing into nothingness.

Until I finally snap.

I march into his room and give him a speech about how he needs to stop torturing himself.

He looks up at me, eyes showing a glimmer of hope.

I crawl into his lap and press my face into the crook of his neck and cry.

I tell him how scared I am that he's going to kill himself this way.

I tell him how I couldn't live knowing he committed a form of suicide.

And he held me and told me everything was going to be ok.

And when I looked into his eyes, I saw the bright green orbs of my brother looking back.

That was when I knew everything would be alright.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** so, there is a crappy little 10 minute chapter. I wrote it because I feel bad for practically abandoning you guys for my NaNoWriMo project...dont even ask how thats going...anyways, hope you enjoyed :) Reviews are my Nutella


	13. You Need is Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust

**A/N: **I'm sorry for what I have to say to you all. I'm not going to be updating this story as often as usual. If you want to know in general read my profile. If you want to know more, PM me….I don't want everything public. Anyway, a Kendall POV for you, my beautiful, supportive readers. I kinda took lines from a trillion songs for this, so if it seems familiar, it probably is, and I don't own it.(And for Disney fans, yes, there is Disney) :P

How can I go on without you?

I can't fight this fight without you.

I'm praying to some god that I don't believe in.

The clouds outside are dark and dreary, kind of like my mood.

What can you do when all that you touch tumbles down?

And I feel so broken when you're not around.

I wish I could stop time from ticking on.

And I want to just stop and have this moment forever.

I want to remember you this way.

I want to remember the way you smiled.

I want to remember how you laughed at the weirdest things.

I want to see your face every morning with your bright eyes looking at me.

I think about all the times you sat with me and watched Peter Pan with me.

And how you always use to tell me to always have faith and trust and one day I'll find my pixie dust.

But I try and I try, but there's no such thing as faith.

Or trust.

Or pixie dust.

And no matter how many times I tell myself I'm never going to grow up, the reality is I am.

And now I'm 16.

I'm not the little kid that I use to be.

We aren't messing around on that big oak tree.

You would take me outside and we'd play in the stream.

When I was young, you told me you'd never leave.

You told me that stars were made for wishing on.

You said that old trees hid little leprechauns.

And you said that magic is what kept us young.

But all good things must come to an end.

I never thought we would leave here.

I always thought we could stay in this place.

But we ran away, found a new place to stay.

And everything was going great.

Until that horrible day.

They told me you're dying and it killed me inside.

I thought about our memories.

And I thought about our Minnesota magical place.

And how there's no more faith.

And no more trust.

And I'm never finding my pixie dust.

Because now the only person I have left

Is the one who's vanishing.

A/N: Thank you for reading. I love you all so much.


	14. Invisible

**A/N: **This may have been the worst Thanksgiving for me…But I'm not getting into that. So, I hope all of you beautiful people had a fantabulous holiday weekend. And I hope all of you have bought ELEVATE because it's freaking AMAZING! Anyway, here is a chapter based off of Carlos' song "Invisible". If you haven't heard it, I suggest you get on youtube right now and listen to it. It's Katie POV, with a slight hint of a totally made-up, random pairing.

* * *

><p>Sometimes, I wonder if I'm ever going to be noticed.<p>

_Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder__  
><em>_And your world just feels so small__  
><em>_Put yourself on the line and time after time__  
><em>_Keep feeling inside that they don't know you're alive__  
><em>_Are you out of mind or just invisible_

I feel like nobody cares about me enough to save me.

_But I won't let you fall__  
><em>_I'll see you, through them all__  
><em>_And I just wanna let you know_

And then I remember he's always watching me, even when he's away on tour his presence lingers.

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city__  
><em>_You'll be right there shining bright__  
><em>_You're a star and the sky's the limit__  
><em>_And I'll be right by your side__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible_

And it's that invisible Kendall that keeps me sane, keeps me going.

_Do you ever think of, what you're standing at the brink__of__  
><em>_Feel like giving up, but you just can't walk away__  
><em>_And night after night, always trying to decide__  
><em>_Are you gonna speak out or get lost in the crowd__  
><em>_Do you take a chance of stay invisible_

But sometimes that comforting presence can push me to the brink of insanity because I know he's not really there to hold me.

_But I won't let you fall__  
><em>_I'll see you, through them all__  
><em>_And I just wanna let you know_

When he finally returns, I automatically feel better because I know he'll be there to catch me.

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city__  
><em>_You'll be right there shining bright__  
><em>_You're a star and the sky's the limit__  
><em>_And I'll be right by your side__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible_

And the presence of my other three brothers makes me feel like nothing can stop the five of us, that we are invincible.

_Gotta look far, I'll be where you are__  
><em>_I wish you could see what I see__  
><em>_So don't ask why, just look inside__  
><em>_Baby it's all you need__  
><em>_And I don't understand why you won't (you won't)__  
><em>_Take my hand and go__  
><em>_Cause you're so beautiful__  
><em>_And everytime that_

Then I realize they will be leaving again soon, and I retreat to my room and cry.

Carlos comes in, always in tune with my emotions.

He holds me tight and tells me that everything will be alright and that I am beautiful.

He takes my hand and smiles before leaving.

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city__  
><em>_You'll be right there shining bright__  
><em>_You're a star and the sky's the limit__  
><em>_And I'll be right by your side__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible_

I feel an immediate comfort knowing that I have people that care about me to protect me and make me feel like I have purpose.

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city__  
><em>_You'll be right there shining bright__  
><em>_You're a star and the sky's the limit__  
><em>_And I'll be right by your side__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me__  
><em>_Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible_

Because when they are around, I know that I'm not invisible.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry if it's really bad. My mind is just somewhere else and I wanted to give you guys something to read from this weekend. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little songfic. And yes, I totally mixed Carlos and Katie….i couldn't use James cuz there were mentions of Kames already.


	15. We Will Fix This Together

**A/N: **And another chapter in an hour…im on a semi-depressed writing kick. Be glad I have to log off soon, or else you'd have another 8 chapters by tomorrow morning. James POV. KAMES!

* * *

><p>I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.<p>

Kendall and Katie were abused, and still are.

They've been through more than anybody should ever have to deal with.

And they both still stand strong.

I want to help Kendall.

I want to help him so badly it hurts.

But how can I do that without telling him how I really feel?

If he found out I was in love with him, he'd probably shun me.

And that would kill me.

I look at the two of them, Katie clutching onto him like he's her life support.

Then I realize he is.

Without him, Katie could be dead.

And without her, Kendall would be dead.

The thought of my best friend dying because of something that was done to him pisses me off.

I rush out of 2J, slamming the door behind me as I run out of the building.

By the time I reach Palmwoods Park, I'm crying.

I find a secluded spot behind a tree and cry until I can't produce tears any more.

I lean against the rough bark and look at the changing sky, wishing I could tell Kendall my secret.

Almost on cue, I hear his voice behind me.

"Are you ok?" he asks me.

I look at him with puffy eyes.

"Not really. I've been thinking about what you told me and I want to help, but I'm afraid"

Kendall sits next to me, wrapping a protective arm around me.

"She's not going to hurt you, Jamie."

I nod and look into his bright green eyes.

"It's not her. I'm afraid of what you would say if you found out my secret."

His expression changed from best friend to overprotective big brother.

"You can tell me, James. I'm the last person to judge anyone."

I looked at him and read the truth in his face.

"I…I love you Kendall. I'm gay and I'm in love with you. Feel free to hate me now."

He smiled at me and leaned in, pressing his lips to mine.

"Good. Because I love you too. And you should never be afraid to tell me anything."

I was blushing bright red and I was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"Thank you. And I'm here for you and Katie. No matter what. Brothers, remember?"

Kendall laughed and helped me off the ground.

"James, I believe it's boyfriends. Just, not around my mom, ok? She's a homophobe, and I don't want to imagine what would happen if she knew."

My face fell and I wrapped my arms around the blonde as he cried his own tears.

He pulled his head away from my shoulder and took my hand in his.

"Let's go. We're going to face my past and our future together. No matter what," he said.

I smiled as we walked back to the Palmwoods, hand in hand, hearts in perfect rhythm.

And that was when I knew we could fix this.

And we would do it together.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** AWWWW Kames! Anyway, here you go. Love you all.


	16. This White Prison of Ours

**A/N: **Ok, so right now I'm in a super pissed off mood. So, this chapter is going to reflect that. I wanna point something out…all the stuff in this chapter has never actually happened. It's just kinda how I see my future going when I come out to my mom. And as you saw before, Kames is now alive and well. And short summary of this: James and Kendall have come out to everybody except Mama Knight. Then, she finds out. *cue dark music* Anyway, definitely some Kames love, but its only fluffy hand holding and kissing and stuff. Enjoy my darlings. Kendall POV

* * *

><p>I guess I knew it was going to end up this way.<p>

But I feel bad for James.

It's my fault we are here, in this empty white room.

'No,' I remind myself.

It's not my fault.

So what if James and I are in love?

Nobody else had a problem with it.

In fact, they were thrilled and actually said "about time you realized you love each other."

And we hid it.

We hid it for over two months before she found out.

And that didn't end well, considering we are lying in a hospital room.

~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK TIME~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~

"_James, if my mom walks in on us making out, she's going to kill us both."_

"_Kendall," he said before kissing me again. "We can handle your mom."_

_I opened my mouth to make a snappy comeback when his lips met mine again._

_The two of sat there, lips connected when my door flew open._

_We turned together and saw my mom standing there, face turning a violent purple._

_I jumped up and began a long explanation about what was going on._

_And then I just came out and told her James and I were madly in love because we are gay._

_And she snapped more than I've ever seen her snap._

_I felt her fist connect with my face as he foot connected with my stomach. _

_I fell on the floor, and began coughing, unable to breathe._

_I felt more punches and kicks all over my body until they suddenly stopped. _

_I saw James slamming my mom into the bed post before she took his arm in her hands and smashed it on the post._

_The sickening crack and subsequent scream made me nauseous._

_I pulled myself off the floor only to be shoved into the dresser._

_She was screaming incoherent words as she beat us both into submission._

_I blacked out after I felt my wrist snap, but I knew that wasn't the end of it._

_Through my blackout, I heard Katie screaming and the EMTs talking over us as we got taken out._

_I woke up with a pounding headache. I tried to move and found I couldn't._

_I had a neck brace on, as well as a cast on my right wrist._

_My left ankle was wrapped in an ace bandage and so was my torso._

_The doctor came in and told me I had a sprained neck, broken leg, broken wrist, a concussion and a few bruised ribs._

_Then he told me James was worse. _

_His arm was shattered, he had a concussion, he broke three ribs, sprained his ankle and slipped a disc in his back._

_They told me he was recovering from surgery and that he was lucky to be alive._

_I closed my eyes and cried. _

_I cried until the mix of morphine and normal exhaustion pulled me to sleep._

_I woke up to see James in the bed next to mine, staring at me like he had never seen me before._

"_Hey Jamie. I was wondering when I'd see you," I said groggily._

_He sniffed and I saw his eyes were swollen because of his own tears. _

_I forced myself out of bed slowly and walked over to his bed and I sat down._

_He moved over as much as he could and I curled up next to him._

_I tried to find the words to say to him, but there were none._

_He had just saved my life, and had almost died doing it._

"_Thank you," I whispered. _

_He smiled. "No. I don't want you to thank me I did exactly what I should've. I protected you."_

_I smiled and kissed him, long and slow._

_I heard a small sound and saw Katie and the doctor standing in the doorway._

_Before I could protest, the doctor had pulled me away from James and placed me in my own bed._

_He gave me some more meds and then did the same for James and soon our room was filled with snores._

~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~2 Days Later~~~~~~~~~

I can't help but look at James while he sleeps.

Something about seeing him at peace calms my own nerves.

I hear a tentative knock at the door and Katie enters, holding my favorite teddy bear from when I was a little kid.

I sit up straight, glad that my ribs healed, even if my neck is still in that stupid brace and motion for her to come sit with me.

She crawls into the bed next to me and cries into my shoulder.

"I've been so scared, Kenny. I thought you guys were dead."

I lifted her chin and met her eyes.

"Nobody is dying. James and I are fine, and as soon as his back heals and my neck heals, we are going home."

She smiled and handed me my old bear, smiling.

"I thought you might want something to hold onto."

I smiled. "I love you, baby sister."

She smiled back at me and we stayed like that until the doctor came in to wake James for more meds.

I smiled at my boyfriend and he smiled back at me.

And as the drugs pulled me towards sleep again, I felt like a weight was lifted from my chest.

Because even in the hospital we were inseparable, two perfect halves of each other.

And as I fell asleep, I dreamt of our lives outside of this white prison.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Ok, so like I said, depressed mood = sad chapter. And IDK when I'm updating again because my dad's surgery was moved to this Thursday. So I'm going to be helping him a lot. So, I hope you enjoyed, and I'm sorry for making anyone cry and I'm sorry Mama K is so horrible.


	17. Three Teen Boys and A Preteen Girl

**A/N: **Ok, so a lot of people have been wondering if this now a Kames-centric fic. It's not. Not at all. I just felt like I had to put that in there because I was stressed and needed to write about somebody's life going well. And that led me to this. Basically, Kendall has finally lost everything he loves and it shatters him, and Katie is the only one left to help him. And a shout out to the following people: **BTRlover98 **for reading and reviewing to every chapter and convincing me to keep going; **GohanRules** for never leaving my side, no matter how annoying I get; and **World's Love Song **for their review that seriously made me cry because it was so touching. To the story.

* * *

><p>Kendall is shattered.<p>

James broke up with him and his heart was shattered into a million pieces.

He doesn't even smile anymore, and I can feel myself breaking.

His eyes are dull, his skin is ghostly pale, he's losing too much weight.

All he does is sit in his room, ignoring the world.

And it's killing me.

The last time I saw him this broken was when we were small and our dad had left.

He was so broken for so long that I was sure he'd never be the old Kendall.

I did everything I could to help him, but nothing worked.

Until he cried.

I was sitting with him when he started crying into my shoulder.

And then it was like something had been flipped in his brain and he was happy again.

And that was about seven years ago.

And it was all replaying again in front of me.

Sighing, I walked towards the room he shared with Logan.

I reach the door and push it open, seeing Kendall on his bed, a razor in his hand.

I scream and run to him, pulling the razor away and holding him tightly.

I check his wrists for cuts, and thankfully find none.

My scream attracts Logan and Carlos, who come rushing in and see us lying together.

I motion to them to leave and that it's safe.

They leave reluctantly and I hold Kendall tightly and he cries into me again.

I rock him slowly, my eleven year old body straining against his weight.

But I forget about my pain and focus on my big brother.

His crying slowly becomes sobs, which turn to sniffs and he eventually stops.

He looks up at me, his emerald irises bright against the bloodshot color of the rest of his eyes.

I look back at him and smile before I begin softly singing "You're Not Alone" in his ear.

His face lit up and he began singing with me, my soft soprano mixing with his rich tenor in a perfect harmony.

As the song draws to an end, I hear more sobs from behind me to see Carlos and Logan in the doorway.

I motion for them to come in and soon I'm being swallowed whole by teen boys, all of them laughing and smiling.

And as Kendall's face lit up, I knew things were going to be alright.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ok, not gonna say anything because Im tired and stressing out and my dads having surgery tomorrow so srry if I don't update. I love you all and you guys are really giving me the strength to go on, so thank you. You will never know how much you have saved me.


	18. The Birth of Our Freedom

**A/N: **So, first of all I am sorry a million times over for not updating sooner. I have literally been running around and I'm lucky to score any free time. So here is your next chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and the surgery went well, but they found out his heart is surrounded by all this fluid so that means more tests and more surgery. Anyways, here is a chapter in which Daddy Knight is the bad guy and Kendall has to be a man. Set as a kind of flashback.

* * *

><p>Beaten down.<p>

Broken.

Shattered into trillions of pieces.

I didn't know if I could save her.

But I had to try.

We were so close to being saved from this Hell.

And she was going to see the birth of our freedom.

Even if it killed me.

Her tears soaked through my shirt as I held her small body against me as I kept running.

I could hear him yelling from behind us, telling me I was worthless and that I didn't deserve to live.

I felt my own tears falling down my face as I pushed myself to my limits as we ran.

I could hear Katie whimpering in my strong eight year old arms as her body shook from the cold.

My body was also freezing but I wasn't letting it bother me.

She came first.

My muscles had stopped screaming and were numb from the running and the cold.

I reached the park where my friends and I use to play hockey on and collapsed.

I sat with her in my arms, her wrist was swollen to the size of my wrist.

I knew it wasn't broken after he grabbed her, but it was definitely sprained.

I sat her five year old frame on the cold hard Minnesota ground and I pulled an ACE bandage out of the backpack I had been carrying.

I told her to keep still as I lightly set her wrist and wrapped it with the bandage.

She looked at me the whole time, her brown doe eyes locking onto my emerald eyes as she winced when I moved.

I smiled down on her and she curled into my body, desperately seeking warmth.

I pulled her close as she fell asleep, vowing to stay awake to keep her alive.

The temperature dropped insanely and I felt her body shuddering against me.

I pulled out my spare hoodie and my hockey jersey and wrapped them both around her, even though I was freezing in jeans and a winter jacket.

It wasn't until the sky started to grow lighter again that I heard noise behind us.

I sat, frozen in fear as my mother approached us.

She wrapped us in her warm embrace and my entire body shook violently.

She half carried, half dragged us to the car.

We ended up in the ER.

Katie was perfectly fine, except for her sprained wrist, which I was commended for wrapping.

I wasn't as lucky.

All my muscles were suffering from being frozen.

I had severe frostbite on my face and hands.

My heart was damaged.

My throat was raw and they weren't sure if I was going to ever speak again.

I sat in that bed, mute and still for days.

I wasn't even sure if I was going to live, and the doctors weren't either.

I was finally allowed to see my sister after a week and her face lit up to see me again.

She ran to me and wrapped her little arms around me and told me it was going to be ok.

She swore she wasn't going to let me go.

I smiled weakly and looked into those eyes before I opened my mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere, Katie."

Everybody couldn't believe it.

I hadn't spoken in a week and Katie walked in and I was talking.

For weeks after, Katie never left my side.

She came to every therapy session I had to attend, telling me it was going to be ok.

And after three months of extensive therapy, I went home.

And as they loaded me and my belongings into the van that would take me away from my father, I smiled at Katie, who was bugging the doctors with all kinds of questions about how she could help me.

Seeing her annoy the hospital staff reminded me of Logan and how he wanted to be a doctor.

I could see her becoming a great doctor, or lawyer or whatever she wanted to be.

Because we were free.

I fought for three months to save her from that evil tyrant.

And as the hospital left our view, I knew we had won.

We had given birth to our freedom.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, it sucks. I know it does. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it. I got the idea talking about writers of the American Revolution in English class. R+R darlings Love you all 3


	19. Girl You Have My Heart

**A/N: **Hello again darling people. I have an announcement. My other chapter story, Big Time Secrets, isn't going to be finished, probably ever. I'm having too much fun with this one and my one-shots, and school is terrifyingly bad and with all my daddy drama I just don't have time to finish another chapter which has to be 15,000 words or something. That, and nobody reads it/likes it. So, I'm probably taking it down soon. Anyway, I'm rocking out to BTR and I got this inspiration from somewhere. But it's another song-fic based off a song.

* * *

><p>Katie is actually leaving.<p>

She is going back to Minnesota for two whole months while I stay here in LA to record with our turd manager, Gustavo.

She prances around the Palm Woods singing and humming to herself as she get ready to leave.

Meanwhile, I sit in our apartment imagining life without my baby sister.

Who is going to help us pull of our crazy ideas?

Who's going to be there for a pep talk when I begin to crumble?

I sigh and continue think until my ringing phone pulls me back to reality.

I see that its Gustavo and I answer.

All I can hear is "you", "dogs" and "now" so I assume he wants us in the studio.

I call up to James, Carlos and Logan that Gustavo wants us and they come rolling down the swirly slide.

The four of us tear out of Apartment 2J and begin running to Rocque Records.

* * *

><p>We arrive, sticky and panting as Gustavo comes out of his office, holding lyric sheets.<p>

"Dogs! Take these lyric sheets home, study them and have this song ready to record in two days. Now **GET YOUR SWEATY HOCKEY DOGS BODIES OUT OF MY STUDIO**!"

We immediately leave out of fear that Gustavo would kill us if we didn't.

We reach the apartment, hotter, stickier and even more out of breath than before.

We sit on the bright orange couch and catch our breaths before looking at the lyrics.

We begin harmonizing and running through the lyrics and after about an hour it sounds good.

We decide to split and Logan goes off to study while Carlos and James hit the pool.

I opt to stay in the air conditioned apartment.

I look at the lyrics again and I get an idea.

I run to the room I share with Logan and tell him my idea.

As I see the smile cross his face, I know he's on board.

I run to the pool, eager to tell Carlos and James.

I find them flirting with some new girls and I pull them away, much to their dismay.

But they quickly feel better when they hear my idea.

They nod their approval and I walk away, forming the plan in my head.

* * *

><p>We arrive at LAX two hours before Katie's flight to Minnesota.<p>

Me and the others are dressed in nice clothes, using the excuse that Gustavo is having us go straight to the studio for a photo shoot.

We begin walking to the security checkpoint, Katie looking suddenly forlorn.

We stop before the guards and Katie turns and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Don't do anything stupid, ok big brother?"

I smile. "I won't baby sister. Just have fun in Minnesota."

I feel her tears soaking my shirt, but I ignore them, focusing instead on what we are about to do.

Katie begins walking towards the armed guard, face sullen.

"Wait, Katie. Two days ago Gustavo gave us a song about when someone you love leaving. And I want to sing it to you before you go."

I look at the others and nod, signaling them to start the music on a stereo they've been carrying.

The music begins to play, and a crowd begins to form around us, people craning to see us.

I close my eyes as my entrance nears.

I hear the final instrumental chords and I open my mouth and sing.

"_Wait a minute before you tell me anything__  
><em>_How was your day?__  
><em>_'Cause I been missing__  
><em>_You by my side, yeah_

_Did I awake you out of your dream?__  
><em>_I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep__  
><em>_You calm me down__  
><em>_There's something about the sound of your voice_

_I, I, I, I never, never, never__  
><em>_As far away as it may seem no__  
><em>_Soon we'll be together__  
><em>_We'll pick up right where we left off_

_Paris, London, Tokyo__  
><em>_It's just one thing that I gotta do__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night_

_And I can hardly take another goodbye__  
><em>_Baby, won't be long__  
><em>_You're the one that I'm waiting on__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, woah_

_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you_

_Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls__  
><em>_That know my name__  
><em>_But don't you worry, no__  
><em>_'Cause you have my heart_

_It ain't easy to keep on moving city to city__  
><em>_Just get up and go__  
><em>_The show must go on__  
><em>_So I need you to be strong_

_I, I, I, I never, never, never__  
><em>_As far away as it may seem no__  
><em>_Soon we'll be together__  
><em>_We'll pick up right where we left off_

_Paris, London, Tokyo__  
><em>_It's just one thing that I gotta do__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night_

_And I can hardly take another goodbye__  
><em>_Baby__, won't be long__  
><em>_You're the one that I'm waiting on__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, yeah_

_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you_

_Whoa, wherever the wind blows me__  
><em>_You're still the one and only girl on my mind__  
><em>_No, there ain't no one better__  
><em>_(Worldwide)__  
><em>_So always remember__  
><em>_(Worldwide)__  
><em>_Always remember, girl, you're mine_

_Paris, London, Tokyo__  
><em>_It's just one thing that I gotta do__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the__phone__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night_

_And I can hardly take another goodbye__  
><em>_Baby, won't be long__  
><em>_You're the one that I'm waiting on__  
><em>_Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone, woah_

_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide__  
><em>_Girl, I'll be thinking about you_

_Worldwide__  
><em>_Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls__  
><em>_That know my name__  
><em>_But don't you worry__  
><em>_'Cause you have my heart"_

The song draws to a close and Katie is crying, as are some of the few hundred people now watching us.

I look up from the floor to see your faces plastered on every television in the airport.

Katie runs into my arms, still crying.

"Thank you, Kendall. Thank you all of you."

I hug her and soon we are joined by James, Logan and Carlos.

"Flight 3472 to Minnesota now boarding" blares over the intercom and Katie pulls away.

"I have to go. But I'll be back in two months. Love you, Kendall."

I press a kiss to her forehead before she disappears into security.

"I love you too, baby sister. Worldwide."

I turn to face my three best friends as we walk away.

And as we pull out of the airport, a plane flies over us and I swear I can see Katie's face in the window waving to me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So there you go. Hope you liked it.


	20. Welcome Home Baby Sister

**A/N: 20 chapters! *throws confetti and gives you cake* I want to really thank every single person who has read this story and given me a review. Seriously, I can't thank all of you people enough for caring this much. Every time I see a new review or a favorite add, or an alert add it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside because it means that someone cares enough about what I have to say. Anyways, another song-fic. No, I am not going to write a fic for every BTR song (even though that would be AMAZING). I'm just in a good mood for once so I'm having fun. And to clear things up, in the last chapter, Katie was only going to Minnesota for the summer. So, here is a fic for when Katie gets home and the boys greet her in the airport. *insert cheeky/evil grin here* Katie POV**

* * *

><p>It has been two long months since I've seen my big brother.<p>

And I can finally go home.

I say goodbye to my friends as I board the plane in Minnesota.

I take my seat in first class, courtesy of Gustavo and get comfortable for my four hour flight.

The captain comes on and gives the flight details, which I ignore.

The light comes on to put on our seatbelts and I do.

The plane leaves the runway and I put my iPod in, stretching out across the empty seat next to me.

I look out of the window as Minnesota woods becomes flat prairie.

I fall asleep until the stewardess wakes me for dinner, which I eat slowly to avoid sickness.

I look out the window and see the cold Rockies below me and I know its only about an hour and a half before we land in LA.

I text Kendall to let him know and all I get back is "k…be ready ;)"

I sigh and curl up again, reading my teen magazine I bought.

I flip through it and see a poster of my brothers and I smile.

A teen girl behind me sees the poster and gasps.

"OMG it's BIG TIME RUSH! I wish I knew them, don't you?" she says before sliding in next to me.

I smile. "I actually know them. Kendall is my older brother. We all live together."

She looks at me, mouth wide and eyes popping.

"Wow. You are the luckiest girl on Earth. Can I meet them?"

I smile. "They are picking me up in LA so if that's your last stop then you can meet them. I'll make them take pics and give you autographs too."

She hugs me and returns to her seat, telling her mom all about Kendall's little sister.

I sigh and hear the dinging that means we're landing in LA.

I fasten my seatbelt again and prepare for landing, holding my breath as we approach the landing strip.

We finally pull into the terminal and I leave, with the fan girl trailing me all the way to baggage.

I pull Kendall's hockey duffle off the belt and look around for my brothers.

The girl comes up behind me, jumping with excitement.

I pull out my phone to text him when I hear his voice calling me.

I turn around and see my four brothers walking up to me, dressed in skinny jeans and tight black tee shirts.

I run into Kendall's arms and soon I'm enveloped in four large pairs of arms.

I hear teen girls screaming around me and I smile as they release me.

The fan girl comes up to me. "Can I get their picture now?"

I look at my brothers who smile their mega-watt smiles as she gets a picture and autographs.

I pick up my bag and move to leave but James' strong arm stops me.

"There's something we planned for this so you stay there."

I look around me and see that a huge crowd has formed and people are taking pictures.

I even notice a film crew and I realize that they set it up so I'd be serenaded again and it was going in the news.

My face gets hot as I hear a few chords of a new song Kendall was telling me about before they sing.

_"better with you, yeah_

_I tried to write this down_  
><em>the words just don't come out<em>  
><em>it's hard to say how you feel<em>  
><em>been down the longest road<em>  
><em>said yes when I meant no<em>  
><em>I lost control of the wheel<em>

_cause you know that_  
><em>things get so bad<em>  
><em>you've got my back<em>  
><em>make me wanna sing, and girl I'll sing about ya<em>  
><em>no sweeter sound than what I've found<em>  
><em>no perfect love could be more perfect than us<em>

_oooo baby_  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>music sounds better with you<em>  
><em>baby<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>everything's better with you<em>  
><em>I used to think that love<em>  
><em>was something fools made up<em>  
><em>cause all I knew was heartbreak<em>  
><em>oh, I couldn't help myself<em>  
><em>let this heart go through hell<em>  
><em>there's only so much a heart can take<em>

_cause you know that_  
><em>things get so bad<em>  
><em>you've got my back<em>  
><em>make me wanna sing, and girl I'll sing about ya<em>  
><em>no sweeter sound than what I've found<em>  
><em>no perfect love could be more perfect than us<em>

_oooo baby_  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>music sounds better with you<em>  
><em>baby<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>everything's better with you<em>

_every song_  
><em>every rhyme<em>  
><em>every word<em>  
><em>is better with you(music sounds better with you)<em>  
><em>every day (every day)<em>  
><em>all of the time (all of the time)<em>  
><em>every way<em>  
><em>music sound better with you<em>

_she's my music enhancer_  
><em>when the music plays she's my dancer<em>  
><em>when I'm around her everything's faster<em>  
><em>every question I have she's the<em>

_answer  
>I'm head over heels<br>can't explain that this all so real  
>when I'm around you baby you make me feel like<br>everything's better with you_

_oooo baby_  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>music sounds better with you<em>  
><em>baby<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>everything's better with you<em>  
><em>oooo baby<em>  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>it feels like<em>  
><em>music sounds better with you<em>  
><em>baby<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>it feels right<em>  
><em>everything's better with you<em>  
><em>the music sounds better with you<em>  
><em>music sounds better with you"<em>

The entire airport erupts into loud cheers and screams, mostly for Logan's rapping skills.

I feel tears on my face as I'm swallowed again.

We pull away without saying anything and we walk out of the airport, escorted by Freight Train.

As we climb into the car I pull Kendall aside.

"Thank you, big brother."

He smiles and puts an arm around my waist.

"Welcome home, baby sister."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There you go. And I had Logan rapping it out cuz BOY GOT SKILLZ.**


	21. No Cape Required

**A/N: Damn. OK, so this story is getting seriously insane and I'm looking for…..PROMPTS. If you have an idea for a story you want me to write leave it in a review and it shall be written. But for now, here is a random thought I got taking a shower because I'm weird like that. Katie POV. And I'm sorry its gonna be long. :P**

* * *

><p>Every kid in the classroom groaned at our assignment.<p>

I was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Ms. Collins had just given us an assignment to write a paper on a hero.

The catch is that it had to be someone real, meaning no comic books or cartoons allowed.

That is what elicited groans of contempt from my class.

And to add to the torture, it's an oral presentation.

The bell rang, dismissing us and we left, everybody grumbling about how hard the assignment was going to be.

I headed up to the apartment, still smiling because I already knew who I was going to write about.

I was going to write my paper on Kendall.

Because to me he is the true definition of hero.

I enter, finding myself alone as I remember Gustavo has the boys all day and mom is in San Diego.

I pull out my laptop and set off on the report, due in three days.

It doesn't take long for me to be over halfway done with the report and I smile to myself.

I take a break and eat some dinner before returning to my writing.

It's almost ten-thirty when I hear my brothers return, groaning about their muscles.

They look at me on the couch, typing away and ask what I'm doing.

I tell them what I'm doing and I can see Kendall's tired eyes light up.

He smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead before the tired teens retreat to their rooms, still groaning.

I finish my report and print it out, smiling to myself as I put it aside, deciding to present tomorrow.

* * *

><p>I walk into the Palmwoods School smiling as I ask Ms. Collins to present.<p>

She gives me a questioning look but agrees.

I prepare myself as the class settles down.

Ms. Collins nods to me and I take a deep breath before starting my report.

"My true hero is my big brother Kendall. Throughout my entire life, he has always been there, saving me from the torture we were forced to endure. Back home in Minnesota, we lived with my father. But he was abusive. He drank incessantly and then he would beat Kendall and I. But I was never hurt because Kendall would get between me and the evil monster that was supposedly my father. Kendall swore from the first time my father hit me that he would never let him touch me again and he kept that promise. For ten long years he took the abuse, always protecting me from my dad. I can't count the amount of times I called the ambulance to take him to the hospital because he was cut or something was broken, or how many times he would just scoop me up and run away from our house, carrying me the entire way until he collapsed from exhaustion. Sometimes we got lucky and one of his friends would take us in for the night. Other times I remember us spending cold Minnesota nights in the park, huddled together to stay warm. He always made sure I was ok before taking care of himself."

I paused, pushing away the tears that had started to form.

"He never left my side during that time. Even when he was bleeding, he always stuck by me, keeping me warm and safe. He was the person that kept me alive during the hardest time in my life. Without him, I probably wouldn't be here talking to you. Without my brother, I would have been beaten to death as a toddler, never given a chance at life. But because of Kendall I survived. Kendall was my Minnesota hero in a hockey uniform. And he still is today. He stands up for me, protects me and makes sure that I'm safe before he takes care of himself. That's why my real time hero is my big brother, Kendall Donald Knight. Because not all heroes have capes and super powers."

I could feel the tears in my eyes and I let them fall, keeping my breaths even.

I could hear sniffling around me and I saw that every single person was crying.

I looked over at the door and saw my brother standing in the doorway, smiling at me.

I smiled back, tears still streaming down my face.

Without asking permission, I walked over to my brother and wrapped my arms around him, crying into his shirt.

I pulled away and began walking to my seat but Ms. Collins shook her head.

"You're free for today, Katie. Go spend time with you're brother."

I smiled and ran back to Kendall, launching myself into his arms as he carried me out.

I looked back into the classroom and saw everybody smiling at me as Kendall took me away in his arms.

Because he is my hero, no cape required.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, what do you think about that? And I'm open for any and all prompts. Love you. Peace and Nutella to you all 3**


	22. Time of Our Lives

**echA/N: I'm so sorry for making you guys wait for this chapter! But before I get on with this chapter, I have some FANTABULOUS news! I am finally out of the closet to my satanic mother. And she is ok with it! No yelling or tears or anything. Just a simple "I still love you no matter what and if this is who you are I'm not going to stop you." YAYAYAYAYAYAY! Can you tell I'm happy? Yeah, I'm happy. And Christmas is in 2 WEEKS! And before Christmas (not now) I'm going to give you a Christmas chapter here AND a special surprise story for the holidays (in case anybody doesn't celebrate Christmas). But here is a chapter about the boys being snowed in at a ski lodge with Katie before a concert. Oh, and Mr. Knight exists and lives with them (yikes). Kendall POV.**

* * *

><p>"And finally, everybody currently at the Adrenaline Ski Lodge is going to be snowed in for the weekend because of this blizzard" the newscaster blared.<p>

The lobby of the resort was filled with groans and mumbles of my group and a few other people who were stranded with us.

I looked at my three best friends and my little sister, who were all looking at me.

"Ok, we can make the best of this. We have each other, we have snow and we are going to make it home in time for the concert."

They smiled.

"You know, Kendall's right. We can still have the time of our lives here, even if we can't leave the lodge," said James.

Carlos smiled and tapped his hockey helmet before adding "Yeah. Being stuck in a ski lodge with twelve other people won't be so bad."

Logan stood up and frowned slightly.

"And if we don't make it back for the concert, Gustavo is going to have our heads mounted next to his platinum records."

Katie stood up and looked at the four of us towering over her.

"Let's ignore the fact that there are only twelve other people around and that Gustavo will kill you and let's have fun. The last time I spent anytime not with my Satan father was NEVER. So, let's live it up."

We all smiled and laughed at her statement, but we all knew she was right.

The last time we had ever spent without being around Mr. Knight was at hockey practice in Minnesota or when we were recording with Gustavo.

And he was a monster, which is why he, his brothers and Katie had taken off on a snowboarding trip alone, courtesy of Gustavo's frequent flyer miles.

I took my sister's hand and pulled her onto my shoulders, carrying her like I use to when we were small.

I looked at my brothers.

"Let's go have the time of our lives."

* * *

><p>My brothers, sister and I walked through the lobby, which was holding all twelve guests and the few staff that had been stranded with us laughing.<p>

People turned to look and saw us all dripping wet from swimming in the indoor pool and sighed.

We looked at the depressed sight before us and we sighed before turning to the elevators.

Before we could press the button, the manager came over.

"Boys, I need a favor. Our entertainment cancelled because of the snow and I need performers. Will you boys help me out?

I looked at my three brothers and they all looked at me like I was crazy.

"Fine. We will sing for them. But we sing our songs."

The manager looked happier than a kid on Christmas.

"Anything for you boys. And I'll pay you $150 each for doing this."

Our faces lit up at the mention of payment.

"What time do you want us to sing?"

The manager checked a clipboard he was holding.

"Can you be ready to sing at 7?"

"Yes, sir. Seven it is."

Just then, the elevator dinged and we climbed on.

As soon as the door shut, we began shouting and dancing because we scored a performance.

Sure, it was only for a few people, but we were doing it because we were asked, and nobody ever asked us to perform.

We clambered into their room and all four of us launched ourselves at the shower.

Katie got between us and shouted for us to shut up.

We fell silent as she gave us a shower schedule that involved James going first so he'd be ready in time.

We agreed and James went to the shower, and I fell asleep.

_**Flashback/Dream Time**_

_All I can hear are his screams._

_I feel his fists beating down on me._

_I drift in and out of the darkness._

_And I know that Death is coming for me._

_I hear her trying to stop him._

_I hear my baby sister's tears._

_I feel the blade puncture my shoulder._

_I can hear my bloody scream._

I wake up, surrounded by my friends and my sister, James in a towel with his hair full of shampoo.

I look at their terrified faces as Logan places a hand on my shoulder.

"You had the nightmare again, didn't you?"

I nod and bury my face in my pillow, masking my tears.

After ten minutes, it became apparent to my friends I wasn't talking so they left.

I felt something warm press against my chest and I looked to see Katie snuggled against me.

"You don't have to worry, big brother. You're safe here."

I smiled. "Yes, Katie, I am. And so are you and Logan and Carlos and James. We are all safe."

I kissed her forehead before she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>We climbed onto the small stage in front of the patrons of the lodge.<p>

"Hey, everybody. I'm Kendall and these are my friends James, Logan and Carlos."

The other three waved their hands slowly as I continued.

"We are in a band called Big Time Rush, some of you may have heard of us."

There were a few murmurs of recognition but most people just glared at us.

I gulped down a breath.

"Well, the first song we have for you is a new song we just recorded called "Time Of Our Lives" and we hope it brings a little bit of joy to all of you because even being stranded won't stop us from having the time of our lives."

I cued the band to play and we dove right into the song.

"i'm lookin at you, yeah  
>you're lookin at me<br>something about you's got me goin' crazy  
>so what should i do? what can i say?<br>she's beautiful, unusual, the prettiest thing in the room

no one else compares to you  
>just do what you do and i will be there for you<br>if you take my hand (my hand), just give me the chance (the chance)  
>say don't worry about a thing<br>just dance, dance, dance

hey!  
>it feels right girl just give me a sign<br>we're gonna party all night,  
>have the time of our life, yeah<br>i can't fight how i'm feelin' inside  
>we can party all night have the time of our life, girl<p>

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>p-par-party all night, girl<p>

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>have the time of our life, girl<p>

i can't help myself, cuz girl you're so fly  
>i knew from the minute that i looked in your eyes<br>that you could be the one, you're just my type  
>can't let you get away, it's obvious<br>i'm into you  
>no one else compares to you<br>just do what you do and i will be there for you  
>if you take my hand (my hand), just give me the chance (the chance)<br>say don't worry about a thing  
>just dance, dance, dance<p>

(don't worry girl)  
>hey!<p>

if feels right girl just give me a sign  
>we're gonna party all night<br>have the time of our life, yeah  
>i can't fight how i'm feelin inside<br>we can party all night have the time of our life, girl

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>p-par-party all night, girl<p>

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>have the time of our life, girl<p>

no we don't have to leave tonight  
>we'll stay together on the dance floor<br>turn up the sound, turn down the lights  
>(the lights, the lights, the lights)<br>(don't wanna let go, yeah)  
>let's make a night we won't forget<br>and livin' with no regrets  
>and no one else but us<br>til the sun comes up

it feels right girl just give me a sign  
>we're gonna party all night<br>have the time of our life, yeah  
>i can't fight how i'm feelin inside<br>we can party all night have the time of our life, girl

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>p-par-party all night, girl<p>

oh oh woah  
>oh oh woah<br>we're gonna party all night  
>have the time of our life, girl"<p>

We finished and the crowd erupted.

I slapped high fives with all my friends as we got ready for our next song.

And I knew we were having the time of our lives.


	23. Cuz You're My Cover, Cover Girl

**A/N: I am so exhausted that words cannot even describe. I have been working my butt of to keep grades up and to make sure my household stay sane and not dead. If anybody would be willing to switch lives with me, I'm willing to take any life besides this one. Sorry for being a drama queen…this is what happens when I don't sleep. Anyway, Another chapter for you lovely people, wherein Katie feels like she is worthless and Kendall sings Cover Girl to her. Katie POV.**

* * *

><p>I feel like I'm not good enough for LA.<p>

I'm not tall.

I'm not gorgeous like the Jennifers.

I can't act like Camille.

I can't sing like my brothers.

And I'm definitely not going to end up in a magazine.

I look at the Pop Tiger magazine in my hands and I rip a page out.

I smile and begin shredding the magazine to bits, screaming and crying as the pages turn to confetti in my hands.

Suddenly, I hear someone slamming on my door and soon enough, Kendall is bursting through my door, fear flashing in his emerald eyes.

He looks at me, and then to the disintegrated magazine in my hands.

"What wrong, Katie-Kat?" he asks me.

I look at him with my bloodshot eyes.

"I'm never going to be good enough. I'm not pretty or a good singer or an actress."

I feel more tears threaten to escape my eyes as his strong arms wrap around me.

"Katie, you are beautiful, the way you are. And I'm going to prove it."

He walked out and returned, guitar in tow.

He stood in front of me and began strumming a few chords before he sang his newest song to me.

"I don't know why you always get so insecure  
>I wish you could see what I see when you're looking in<br>the mirror  
>And why won't you believe me when I say<br>That to me you get more beautiful, everyday

When you're looking at the magazines  
>And thinking that you'll never measure up<br>You're wrong

Cause you're my cover, cover girl  
>I think you're a superstar, yeah you are<br>Why don't you know  
>Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts<br>It's what's underneath your skin  
>The beauty that shines within<br>You're the only one that rocks my world  
>My cover girl<br>Oh, my cover girl

You walk in rainboots on a perfect summer day  
>Somehow you always see the dark side, when everything's<br>okay  
>And you wear baggy clothes that camoflague your shape<br>Whoa, but you know that I love you, just the way you're  
>made<br>When you're looking at the magazines  
>And thinking that you're just not good enough<p>

You're so wrong, baby

Cause you're my cover, cover girl  
>I think you're a superstar, yeah you are<br>Why don't you know  
>Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts<br>It's what's underneath your skin  
>The beauty that shines within<br>You're the only one that rocks my world  
>My cover girl<p>

Got a heart of gold, a perfect original  
>Wish you would stop being so hard on yourself for once<br>And when I see that face  
>I'd try a thousand ways<br>I would do anything to make you smile

Cause you're my cover, cover girl  
>I think you're a superstar, yeah you are<br>Why don't you know  
>Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts<br>It's what's underneath your skin  
>The beauty that shines within<br>You're the only one that rocks my world  
>My cover girl<br>Oh, my cover girl  
>Oh, my cover girl<p>

Whoa oh, my cover girl  
>Whoa oh, my cover girl"<p>

I wrapped my small arms around his waist and sobbed into his shirt.

"Thanks, Kenny. I needed that."

He smiled at me.

"Katie, no matter what anybody says, you are beautiful because you are smart and funny and cunning and only you can cheer me up when I'm depressed. So whenever you feel sad, sing that song to yourself and know that you are beautiful."

He kissed my forehead and walked away, smiling.

I turned and began cleaning the shredded magazine from my bed and smiled.

I was Kendall's cover girl, and that was all I would ever need to be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So there you go. I was listening to this song earlier and I thought about writing a drabble for it. So, her you go.**


	24. Time To Change the World

**A/N: High school sucks. I got tripped down the stairs and may have a concussion and bruised ribs. And I've had a migraine for 4 days and my wrist is hyperextended again. As if my life didn't already suck. And not to mention my mom finally blew up at me for being bisexual. She met my gay best friend and when he was gone she proceeded to tell me that I needed to "stop hanging out with homos because they were influencing mye to become a queer." So, here is a chapter about what happens when Kendall has a crappy day and only Katie can truly cheer him up. Enjoy.**

This has been the worst day of my life in LA.

First, I fell in the pool on the way to my solo time at the studio.

Then, Gustavo spent the entire time yelling at me, telling me how much I suck.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I fell down a flight of stairs leave Rocque Records.

I groan as I sit down heavily on the bright orange couch, moaning loudly at my injuries.

Logan already inspected me the minute I complained and determined I had most likely had some bruised ribs and a very mild concussion that would leave my head pounding for a few days.

I leaned my head against the back of the couch and sighed to myself, trying to ignore the loud thrumming in my head.

I heard a door shut somewhere in the apartment and I opened my eyes.

Standing above me was Katie, arms crossed as she looked down into my eyes.

"Rough day, big brother?" she asked innocently.

"Baby sister, you have no idea."

I proceeded to tell her all about my day and she sat and listened like any good sibling.

When I finished, she tenderly wrapped her arms around my waist.

"You know, this isn't as bad as what some people go through daily."

I looked down at my sister.

"You're wiser than your years, Katie-Kat. And you're so right. So many people go through worse. Thanks, Katie."

She looked at me like I was crazy.

"What did I do?"

I smiled.

"You made me realize that I need to stop moping around because of one bad day when so many people are suffering from so much more"

She smiled.

"And now I'm going to go change it"

I walked outside, determined to make people's lives better.

**A/N: Sorry its so short…im tired and stressed out and yeah. Bye**


	25. Daddy, Please Come Back

**A/N: So, today would have been my grandmother's 83rd birthday. But she died five years ago. I miss her with every part of my being. So this is for her. Basically, Kendall and Katie return to Minnesota to mourn their father's death. Kendall POV.**

* * *

><p>The Minnesota wind is biting cold, a stark contrast to the balmy LA weather.<p>

I walk alongside Katie, who is clutching my hand like it's the only thing tethering her to life.

I pull her in close, shielding her from the icy air.

We weave in and out of gravesites, names blurring as we pass.

I know we are getting close because the names begin to look familiar.

Cousins, aunts, uncles and other family members I've never heard of begin to surround me and I feel the tears forming.

I can see the marble angel that stands over my father's resting place and I can hear Katie crying besides me.

We reach his grave and Katie crumbles, falling to her knees over his frozen tomb.

I crouch next to her, massaging her back until she calms down, ignoring the tears falling down my own cheeks.

She looks at me and wraps her innocent arms around me, sobbing into my chest.

I hold her until she finishes and backs away, leaving me alone with my father.

"Hey dad. I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss you. I'm sorry it's been so long since we talked, but I've been busy in LA."

I can feel more tears streaming down my face as I fight to keep my composure.

"I really miss you, daddy. I need you to come back."

I finally lost it and I fell to the ground sobbing loudly.

"I can't be a singer and a father and a brother and take care of mom all at once. I need my daddy back! Katie needs her daddy!"

I could hear Katie trying to calm me down from a distance but I waved her off.

I needed this time to vent.

"Daddy, please, come back to us. Why did you have to die? Why not me? You died saving me when you could've lived your life."

I knew I wasn't making any sense, but I couldn't care less.

Right now, I wanted my dad back.

"I know you saved me out of love. I can see why you did it, because I would do the same for anyone, especially Katie, mom, Logan, Carlos and James."

My cheeks were beginning to freeze because of the tears and I knew I'd have to leave soon.

"Five years has been so long, dad. And I love you more than ever now that you're gone. But I want you to know that I'm taking care of everyone down in LA. And I'm still playing hockey."

I could almost see my dad smiling at me.

I smiled at the sky.

"I'll be back soon, I promise, ok daddy? But for now, I have to leave. I love you, dad."

I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer.

When I opened them, I could swear I saw my father smiling at me.

I rose and wiped the tears from my face and took Katie's hand.

"Dad says he loves you, Katie-Kat."

She smiled and squeezed my hand knowingly as we left the graveyard.

And as the limo drove away, I swear I heard him saying that he was always going to be with me, no matter what.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, there we go. Sorry if it was bad. But I have some news. First, my holiday one-shot is being written as we speak and it's going to be AMAZEING. Second, they scheduled my dad's surgery to remove the cancerous tumor on his kidney and to fix his hernia…for my first day back at school. Great. Anyways, this was dedicated to my grandmother and to everybody else who has to celebrate the holidays without a loved one.**


	26. You Take Everything For Granted

**A/N: Ok, I officially owe a HUGEEEE apology to GohanRules. I was talking to him while typing the last chapter and I kinda took his idea and IM SO SORRYYY! Seriously, though, I had no intention of taking his idea, it just kind of happened that way. So, I hope he forgives me and if he doesn't then I'm going to get sued. :P Anyway, a chapter in which Katie and Kendall get into a huge fight and she really hurts him. BTW: this actually happened between me and my sister today. No real POV, but for the sake of there being a POV We are going to say it's James.**

* * *

><p>I don't think I've ever seen Katie and Kendall fight.<p>

They have been screaming obscenities at each other for almost twenty minutes now.

And someone's going to snap soon, I can tell.

Their voices are steadily escalating in volume and their bodies are tensing.

Logan and Carlos left soon after the yelling started, and Mama Knight was out of town for the day.

I watched as they continued screaming.

I assumed their argument would fizzle out, but then it happened.

I didn't even hear the words that Kendall said to make it happen.

All I saw was Katie move and I heard Kendall cry out.

I rushed over to him and looked at his face.

There, clear as day, was a hand print.

And across that mark were four small, jagged bleeding cuts.

I glared at Katie and she glared back, threatening me to do or say something to her.

I just shook my head in utter disgust and returned to Kendall's bleeding face.

Behind me I could hear Katie swearing under her breath and I snapped.

"Listen here, Kaitelyn. You had no right to speak to Kendall that way."

I saw her flinch at the use of her full name.

"He's been through everything to make sure that you stayed safe growing up and you repay him this way?"

I knew I hit a nerve by mentioning their haunting past.

"All the times he went to the hospital and almost died for you and you repay him my hitting him. That's low, Katie."

I knew she was close to breaking down, but I had enough of this.

"You are so selfish. You realize that you could be in foster care right now without him? Or how about living with your father?"

I could see the tears falling down her face and I knew I was being harsh, but it had to be said.

"You take your entire life for granted without ever thanking Kendall for what he sacrificed for you. I thought you were better than that. I guess I was wrong."

She burst into tears and ran into her room and I felt a wave of guilt crash into me.

I knew I was going a little overboard, but she needed to be knocked off her high horse.

Kendall sacrificed himself for her so many times and she took it all for granted.

I shook my head and began carefully tending to Kendall's wounds.

The bleeding had stopped and the cuts weren't deep, but they were jagged and bits of flesh were flapped over them.

I carefully cleaned them out and placed bandages over them.

"I'm going for a run. I need to clear my head."

Kendall just nodded and I was out of the door in seconds, flying through the Palmwoods.

I got outside and set a pace for myself, taking the longest route I knew because I knew that going back mad wasn't going to help.

* * *

><p>I returned after an hour of running and my tank top was drenched in sweat.<p>

I walked into the apartment to find Kendall and Katie sitting at separate ends of the room, avoiding the other.

I sighed and headed for the shower, realizing that this was something they'd have to fix themselves.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, the ending is literally shit. I was being rushed into the shower because I have a concert tomorrow and I need to shower and I wanted to finish it. So, here is my shitty chapter. FEEL ABSOLUTELY FREE TO FLAMEEE!**


	27. Holiday Warmth In a War Zone

**A/N: Well, this is probably going to be the last chapter until after Christmas, so Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, happy Yule, Happy 3 Kings Day, Happy New Year, and whatever else anybody celebrates! Happy Holidays from me, and I will see you all AFTER Christmas….except for my new one-shot, Christmahanukwanzica. So, enjoy, darlings.**

* * *

><p>The tree glistens in the corner of Apartment 2J, looking bright an cheerful.<p>

Outside, Palmwoods residents sit in the park, playing in the fake snow created by Buddha Bob.

I look out my window, smiling at my four brothers playing with the snow.

I know how much it kills them to not be in Minnesota, because it kills me too.

The boys finally notice me watching them and motion for me to join them.

I smile and grab my jacket before running into the temporary ice field.

I'm met with four snowballs to my body and I look up to see my brothers smirking and holding more snowballs.

"It is so on, boys!"

I ran over to the girls who were standing to the side.

"I'm waging war on the boys. Anybody in?"

They all looked at me, smiling devilishly.

We began building snowballs and stacking them in places the boys would never find.

Soon, we had an arsenal ready.

We all picked up one and surrounded the boys.

We smiled and threw them at once, so fifteen snowballs slammed them all at once.

The picked up snow to throw back but we had vanished.

While the boys were making more to counter-attack, we had run off to our arsenals.

Mine happened to be in a tree, and I had a perfect vantage point of all the other girls.

I looked down at Kendall, who seemed utterly clueless.

Logan was obviously calculating where we might be, and Carlos was twitching, waiting for his chance to attack.

I looked around at the girls, who were all looking at me for the signal.

I smiled and gave the signal, and we all emerged from our spots.

Camille, Jo and I dropped from trees, the Jennifer clan came out from some bushes and all the other girls emerged from well placed snowdrifts and ditches.

Instantly, the boys were pelted with snowballs until they were on the ground, begging for mercy.

All of us girls crouded around their bodies as the begged us for mercy.

"So, will you leave the girls alone now?" we all asked loudly.

I was met with four different pairs of eyes looking right at me.

"Yes, we promise to leave you out of our snowball war!'

I smiled and helped my brothers up as the other girls walked away.

"That wasn't very fair, Katie-Kat" Kendall said.

Carlos looked like he wanted to cry. "Why did you attack us," he whined.

I smirked. "I thought the girls would enjoy that. And, I didn't appreciate the sniper attack."

This got four smirks from the boys.

"We're sorry, Katie. We just wanted to cheer you up. You looked so depressed about not being in Minnesota."

I smiled. "Who needs to be freezing in Minnesota when I can have snow and 70 degree heat and be with all my friends?"

They wrapped their arms around me and I was engulfed in warmth.

I snuck out and looked up the Palmwoods and saw an array of Christmas trees, Chanukah menorahs and the Kinaras for kwanzaa reflecting in the windows, yule trees, Three Kings' displays and new years decorations adorning the apartments.

And as I looked at the decorations for the holiday season, I was filled with a holiday warmth.

The warmth that you can only feel around Christmas, because it's the love of your family that makes itself known.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry it ended badly, I was kinda rushed. I wrote this in two different classes just because. So, I hope you enjoyed it, I'll post the new story tonight. Happy Holidays to all, and I'll see you tonight.**


	28. And The World Comes Crashing Down

**A/N: Ok, so I have something to say, and I really want you guys to read this because it may determine the fate of this story. My dad had his surgery today, and we found out he has cancer. So, this will be my last chapter for probably a week that's actually going on FF. I'm gonna keep writing the chapters, but they won't be posted until after we're farther out of this tunnel. I want to thank every single reader, reviewer, favoriter, alerter and anyone in between for always being here to support me. From the bottom of my heart, I will never be able to repay you for this, for you have given me a great gift; the gift of friendship. Thanks, and I hope I don't shatter your hearts too badly. Kendall POV**

* * *

><p>There is nothing left.<p>

Everything I love has been ripped away from me in an instant.

My mother is a wreck.

Katie can't even look at me without crying.

And I am falling apart in tiny fragments, never to be fixed.

The one person I had is broken.

And I can't fix him this time.

All the times he held me up.

All the times he told me everything was going to be alright.

And all the things he promised we would do together were all gone now.

Ripped away by some horrible trick of fate.

I used to believe that there was a God who would protect me.

Now, I doubt everything I've ever been told about a higher power protecting us.

How could this happen?

Why to me and to Katie?

Can't this so called "God" stop torturing the two of us?

First with our mother and now by slowly pulling our father away from us.

The two of us are running out of people to take care of us.

Our second chances are running low, and soon we aren't going to have any left.

Why us?

Why me?

My brothers are trying to be supportive, but all I really want is to be alone.

I want to curl up and cry, but I know I can't.

I'm the strong one now, and I have to take care of Katie and my mom.

Those were the last words my father spoke to me.

He held me in his arms, crying silently as he whispered "I want you to look after your mother and little sister. Be strong for them."

I promised I would.

I swore to him that until he was better I'd protect us.

I'd take care of them and the house.

And I never break a promise.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the bad and abrupt ending. I just wanted to finish before I broke into tears again. Anyway, as I said above, last update for a while. I love you all. Peace and love. ~Nikki**


	29. Mano Saulės

**A/N: So, my dad's surgery went really well and he came home yesterday (Saturday) and he's doing well. He can walk, but its really slow. He can eat in small increments. But he is in a lot of pain, and he's going to be healing for at least a month. But he's going strong, and so am I. Because I have one person that has literally been with me through every twist and turn in this story. He calmed me down when I was crying, made sure I was eating and sleeping on a somewhat normal schedule, and most importantly kept me sane during all the time I spent in that god-forsaken hospital. I know he's going to kill me when he reads this, but I really have to thank him because for the last week, he has been my savior, my angel, my rock. This one's for you. More of a Kogan type friendship chapter, in which Katie is in the Hospital after a simple appendectomy and Kendall is freaking out, so he relies on Logan to comfort him. *Mention of nudity***

* * *

><p>The pain was killing me.<p>

I know it's an everyday thing, but I keep thinking she's going to die.

And I can't lose my baby sister.

I go straight to the hospital every day after recording, whether Gustavo wants to let me or not.

I've become acquainted with the nurses in pediatrics and I know them all by name.

They don't care that I'm constantly bugging them for more water because I'm going through it.

I sit with her and talk to her in soft tones, singing to her when she is in pain.

The nurses come in periodically to check her IV lines and to take vitals.

She squeezes my hand when they take more blood, and I whisper calming words.

The doctors only make me leave when they change the gauze on her hip because I'm not allowed to see my Katie-Kat nude.

And every night I leave the hospital so she can sleep.

And every night it's the same routine.

James and Carlos say hello and then disappear to who know where, afraid to break me.

Logan tries to coax food into me, managing a few nibbles every now and then.

Then, I mope for hours, until my mom tells us to sleep.

Logan and I retreat to our room.

I lie awake, tossing and turning from anxiety.

Logan comes over and tells me to sleep.

He tells me that everything is ok and Katie will live.

I press my body into his warmth and he cradles me in his arms, rocking me to sleep.

Even then, I only get about three and a half hours.

Gustavo tells me to take a break, stay home and rest.

But I go to the hospital and sit with Katie, telling her stories about some stupid stunt Carlos pulled, or about James accidentally spilling his Cuda products down the drain.

She smiles brightly, since laughing hurts her side too much.

Logan comes after rehearsal and forces me home.

He tells me I need to relax and begins doctoring me, treating me like a little kid.

I try to fight back, but I'm too weak and tired to try.

With some coaxing, I fall asleep warm in Logan's arms, feeling safe for the first time in a week.

I go to Katie the next morning because she's being discharged.

I help her into the car and then up into the apartment.

She is met with all her friends from around the Palmwoods, but I soon force them out because she looks exhausted.

She sits on the orange couch, drifting asleep.

I tenderly sit next to her and take her hand.

She falls asleep to my touch and I rise, sure she's safe.

I walk over to Logan, who is making me coffee.

I look into his soft brown eyes.

"Thank you, mano saulės."

He smiles, recognizing the words.

"No problem."

I smile and take the cup from his hands.

I take a sip and place it on the counter before I pass out from exhaustion.

And I know that when I wake up, my sunshine will be waiting for me, like he always is.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: so, yeah. Like I said above, dedicated to someone who is gonna kill me when he reads this. Anyways, love you all. PS: the language was Lithuanian. **


	30. Sound of Silence

**A/N: So, we meet again, FanFiction. I wanna apologize for practically abandoning all of you people. You all know what's going on, so I'm not gonna go on and on when you all really just want to read this chapter. And speaking of, this story is probably going to end soon unless my life becomes something more than daddysitting and Midterm exams which start Friday. So, since Im slaving away studying, last chapter for what's probably gonna be almost 2 weeks. And who know where this story is going? If you want me to write about ANYTHING, be it here as a chapter or as a separate story, send a message my way, and I will do it for you. I live to please the masses, so ask and thou shalt receive. On to the chapter!**

* * *

><p>Life is finally calming down here.<p>

The second album was a huge hit and Gustavo's letting us have a break.

My mom isn't as psychotic as she was.

Katie has a boyfriend, I have Jo, Logan has Camille and James and Carlos have each other for company.

For once, it feels like everything in my life is perfect.

No screaming.

No yelling.

Nobody's going to the hospital.

We are all peaceful and calm, which I know won't last very long.

But I can enjoy it while I have it.

Because peace and quiet can be the best thing ever.

Now I know why my mom enjoys the time nobody's home.

I hear James and Carlos arguing in their room, something about James' Cuda products.

I smile and roll my eyes, noting the disturbance of peace.

James storms out of the apartment, with Carlos on his tail, mumbling angrily.

The door slams and I'm once again enveloped in silence.

I lean my head against the back of the orange sectional and sigh deeply.

Nothing and everything has changed, and I'm kind of liking it.

My eyes flutter closed as I hear James outside by the pool, still screeching at Carlos.

I chuckle before drifting off, to the sounds of silence.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know, short and sucky. I was just kind of bored and wanted to write something for you guys.**


	31. Runaway

**A/N: Sorry for not updating this! I had those goddamned midterms, which I passed! Lowest was a C+ in Trigonometry. So, my break from FFn to study obviously paid off. I have one more announcement: Big Time Secrets is going away, permanently. I just don't have the time or energy or motivation to keep that story going. So, I'm sorry to do this, but it's leaving forever. RIP BTS. Anyways, things have been super stressful here with everything, and I actually tried to become a runaway, which is what this chapter is. Kendall gets sick of it all and runs away to live on the streets.**

* * *

><p>I've had enough.<p>

I'm constantly being pushed around and I can't stand it.

So, I'm doing what all teens do.

I'm running away.

I can hear the others trying to calm me down through my locked door, but it won't work.

I rush around the room, throwing everything I can into my backpack.

"Dude, please, don't do this" James says.

"You won't make it, Kendall. You're just upset. You just need to take a deep breath" Logan tries to reason with me.

I sigh and throw the door open, making the others flinch when it slams into the wall.

I shove through them and down the hallway.

My mother grabs my arm and tries to stop me, but I pull free.

I rip away from her and storm into the hallway.

I can hear them until I run down the staircase and through the lobby.

People part to let me through and I walk out into the night.

I head out into the brightly lit city, glad I grabbed a hoodie.

I wander around and I come to some sort of park.

I notice all the makeshift shelters and realize where I am.

This is one of the allotted places in Los Angeles where the homeless are allowed to live.

I look around and see the faces of people who are starving and who have never seen warmth.

I sigh and look at my watch.

I know I should go home, but I need to blow off steam so I walk around for a bit to find a place to sleep.

I end up setting up my sleeping bag in a makeshift tent with another runaway named Taylor.

He saw me wandering and invited me into his tent.

We talked for what felt like hours.

His parents had disowned him when they found out he was gay.

He asked why I was running away from my own home.

I told him and he smiled.

"In the morning, you have to go back."

I smiled back. "I was planning on it. I just needed to breathe."

He smiled and clicked off the small flashlight we had been using for light.

I pulled my sleeping bag up around my neck and pulled the strings on my hoodie to cover my head.

I fell into a fitful sleep, plagued by nightmares.

When the sun finally rose, I woke silently.

I packed my stuff and left a note to Taylor thanking him for everything, as well as a hundred dollar bill.

I walked through LA as the sun began to touch the ocean and I was at the Palmwoods sooner than I had hoped to be.

I walked back to my apartment and I was instantly greeted by hugs.

"Kendall Donald Knight, if you ever do that again I'm going to call the police" my mom screamed.

I hung my head. "I'm sorry, mom. I just needed room to breathe. It'll never happen again, I swear."

She smiled and hugged me again, nearly crushing my ribs.

"I was scared, Kendall."

The soft little voice made me spin and I saw Katie in the doorway, dried tear tracks criss-crossing her face.

I rushed to her and took her up in my arms.

"Don't you worry, Katie-Kat. I'm never leaving you again, I promise."

I kissed her nose as she giggled.

I looked back into the kitchen to see five smiling faces, all with tears of joy in their eyes that I returned.

And I smiled back, tears in my own eyes. "I'm glad to be home."

And we all embraced, glad that the runaway had come home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, the ending sucked. I know it did. And I'm sorry for that crap ending. I really am. But it is currently 12:40 AM here and I'm half dead. So yeah. Oh, I have a question that I want you to answer in your review if you leave one: What do you think about SOPA and PIPA? Do you think they'd kill FFn? Leave your answer in the reviews. Love you all. *blows kiss***


	32. My Heart, My Future

**A/N: So, I should pay attention during lectures on getting into college. But no. Instead I write new chapters for FFn. So, a chapter for you about something that is coming up for most people under 18.**

* * *

><p>The future.<p>

Two simple words, that's it.

When we are younger, we see the future as distant, something barely tangible.

As we grow, the future grows ever closer.

In high school, it finally hits you head-on with all the force of a semi truck.

Ms. Collins brought in the Dean of Admissions from UCLA to talk to us about college.

And the first words he said made everyone hate him.

"All of you have dreams to be famous, but the reality is that less than half of you are going to make it in Hollywood."

I've never seen James cry so hard in my life.

When the crying kids settled down, he began to talk about college.

He asked us how many of us had college dreams before moving out to LA.

Every hand was raised.

Then he asked who still had college plans in case fame didn't work out.

Logan and I were the only ones with our hands up.

I blushed a bright red when he asked what I wanted to major in.

"I want to major in liberal arts. And then become a pro hockey player."

He laughed.

"I want to be a doctor," Logan responded and the man smiled.

I wanted to hit him.

I spent the rest of the seminar doodling and ignoring the speech.

If I was going to be forced into a college, I'm going to do what I want, not what some crackpot says I should.

I realize I've had enough and I walk out, ignoring Ms. Collins.

I walk right out of the Palmwoods and down to the ice rink.

I rent gear and hit the ice, taking shots and running drills.

Because no matter what that idiot says, I'm going to follow my heart.

Because I know who I am.

And I am Kendall Knight, hockey player.

Not Kendall Knight, doctor.

Or lawyer.

Or teacher.

I am me.

And nothing will change that.

I slap another puck into the net and skate off the ice, smiling.

Because I know my future.

And that's all I need.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ok, well that was very…awkward. I really have no idea what I wrote, just that I was bored in a college seminar and I thought about what Kendall would do. So, I made him walk out and go to the one place that keeps him from going crazy. Hope you liked it. Reviews are my NUTELLA. And A HUGE thank you to GoseiGokaiRed (find her in my faves) for her story, "Cover Girl" Read it and review it. Go, NOW**


	33. I'm Never Giving Up On Us

**A/N: And, ladies and gentlemen, the time is come. This is the final chapter. It's going to be set up like a song fic, and it's a future fic. I thank you all for sticking with me during this whole story, reading and reviewing and sharing. So, without further ado, I give you, the Final Chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz.**

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><p>Katie has always been the stronger one in our relationship. But she always feels so insecure about herself, saying that she isn't pretty or that she doesn't matter.<p>

_When I look into your eyes__  
><em>_it's like watching the night sky__  
><em>_or a beautiful sunrise__  
><em>_well there's so much they hold_

People see her as an innocent little girl. They see her as a girl who got lucky enough to have a brother in the business so she could move to LA. I look into her eyes and see the pain, the suffering and the wisdom trapped in those sparkling orbs.

_And just like them old stars__  
><em>_I see that you've come so far__  
><em>_to be right where you are__  
><em>_how old is your soul?_

We've both come so far in our lives. We've survived when we should have died. We fought back when we had every right to back down. She grew up so much faster than she should have; she missed out on so much in her childhood. She was 15 going on 40.

_I won't give up on us__  
><em>_even if the skies get rough__  
><em>_I'm giving you all my love__  
><em>_I'm still looking up_

We never gave up on each other. No matter how rough things would get, we were always there to support each other. I loved my baby sister with everything in my body.

_And when you're needing your space__  
><em>_to do some navigating__  
><em>_I'll be here patiently waiting__  
><em>_to see what you find_

I always knew when she wanted to talk and when she just needed her space to think things out herself. And no matter what, I would always be waiting for her to talk to me. Whether it was about us, or about school, I was always there for her.

_'cause even the stars they burn__  
><em>_some even fall to the earth__  
><em>_we've got a lot to learn__  
><em>_god knows we're worth it__  
><em>_no, I won't give up_

Sometimes, when I get sad, I sit outside and watch the stars. Every star I could see would make me think of Katie. I'd think of how I was convinced she was an angel sent to save me from my evil mother.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily__  
><em>_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_

When she was in danger, she always told me to leave her and to save myself from the endless abuse. But I'd always refuse, saying that I wasn't going to leave her that easily. I knew in my heart that I had to fix this for both of us.

_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts__  
><em>_we got yeah we got a lot at stake_

Every time our mother would get angry. Everything was at stake. My life. Katie's life. Our futures. Everything was on the line, no matter how different our hopes and dreams were.

_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend__  
><em>_for us to__ work __we didn't break, we didn't burn_

But we banded together and fought back against the tyranny. We planned escapes, made sure we were prepared to run if we had to. We stood up together, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break us.

_We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in__  
><em>_I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not__  
><em>_and who I am_

We both learned quickly that we were in a family different from those around us. We learned to not speak about our mother and to stay as silent as possible. We were told to lie about everything. I hated it, but I did it to keep our fragile little world from shattering. I learned that I was a terrible liar.

_I won't give up on us__  
><em>_even if the skies get rough__  
><em>_I'm giving you all my love__  
><em>_I'm still looking up__  
><em>_I'm still looking up_

Yet, even through all the abuse and the pain, Katie stood strong. She always managed to find the brighter side to our grim situation. She used to tell me that she'd love our parents but she had already given all her love to me so that I would be safe.

_I won't give up on us__  
><em>_god knows I'm tough, he knows__  
><em>_we got a lot to learn__  
><em>_god knows we're worth it_

Whenever I was in the hospital, Katie would never leave my side. She would tell me that she didn't want me to die, that I still had a lot to live for. And I remember I'd take her hand and tell her that God knew how tough I was and that he wasn't going to let me die.

_I won't give up on us__  
><em>_even if the skies get rough__  
><em>_I'm giving you all my love__  
><em>_I'm still looking up_

For years after the abuse ended, both of us were still fighting. Fighting back the nightmares, holding in the pain. We closed ourselves off from the outside world and tried so hard to be like the other kids we would see at school. After 5 years, we realized it was over, the rough times were now replaced with clear blue skies. We gave each other all our love, and we made it through.

PAGE BREAK!

It's been three weeks and my brain still hasn't processed it. I can't believe Katie is dead. She was 15 years old. I'm only 19. I haven't done anything since I gave my speech at her funeral. I don't even remember it. And I wouldn't, if not for the fact that the paper I printed it on sits on the table, staring at me.

I look at the paper and tear it to shreds. Part of me enjoys watching the shreds fall to the floor because they represent my heart. Part me is glad I have another copy saved because it was so touching. And part of me just wishes I was dead, too.

Living without Katie hasn't been easy. The empty place at the dinner table, her bed still neat and made from that morning of the day she died. I walk past the room and shut the door, locking it from the outside. I can't look at it any longer. I turn to walk away and I see our last family photo of my mom, Katie and I holding my second gold album. I look at the picture and smile.

"I won't give up on you, Kendall. I'm going to fight for you and for everyone else. I'm still looking up," I hear her voice in my head. I walk away from the picture, smiling, knowing that my little sister is still looking after me, and that she won't give up. And neither will I.

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><p><strong>AN: You weren't expecting that one, were ya? Oh, you were? Well, then good for you, you little psychic you. So, that is the end. I want to thank two people in particular, GoseiGokaiRed for supporting me and harassing me to keep writing and GohanRules for being with me from day one and for inspiring me to start writing FanFiction in the first place. I appreciate every review I've gotten. And I appreciate everyone who's read this story, faved it, alerted it and so on. You guys have have been so supportive and I sound like I'm rambling, but seriously, you guys have made this all worth it. And this story is going to have 100 reviews, which makes me super excited! So, thanks for reading ;) Love ya. ~Nikki**


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